My Mother’s Day advice to you mother’s out there whom I know
and love:
Too often we as mothers are too worried about our
appearances and dare I say it… the pictures floating around of ourselves. I am
often told things like “I hate the way I
look in pictures,” or “I’ve gained too much weight” or “My kids are so much
cuter than I am” or “I’m the one behind the camera and never in front of
it.” As a matter of fact, I was told
this a couple of times just in the past week by various friends. And trust me,
I get it. I really do. Actually, I was there once myself and admit that I sometimes teeter in the zone. But here’s the
thing, get over it!
Now, hear me out on this. One day while being in that zone
and lamenting old pictures of myself and wondering why there were so few of
myself during a family vacation we had taken, the reason was loud and clear.
The answer was simple. It was my fault. My fault I wasn’t in the pictures, my
fault I didn’t allow myself to just be ok with where I was and what I looked like
in that moment. My fault that someday my
kids may come across these pictures and ask, “Mom, were you with us when we
went here?” And that realization killed
me. Worse than that, I realized that instead of asking me that question, it’s
very possible I may not be around for them to ask one day and they will have to
ask someone else if I was there. Will
that person even know the answer? Is this the way I want to be remembered? By
not remembering or being able to remember if I was there because my children
were too young at the time? Easy answer, No.
Someday whether I’m older looking at pictures with my
children…or perhaps grandchildren if that’s where life takes us or whether it’s
my children relaying stories to them after I’m gone. I want to proudly be able
to say “I was there,” “look at this pic of all of us,” “doesn’t
this picture show how much fun we were having?” or have them say “boy, mom
really knew how to have fun,” or “She always made sure to document the good
times she had with us.” Even if they are
looking at a terrible picture of me and laughing, here’s the thing…..it made
them laugh and probably will bring back a memory or two from the time it was
taken. Is that really so bad?
How many of you have taken out old photographs of your
mother, your grandmother, even your great grandmother and regaled your children
with stories of them from your own childhood? Told them about the person they
are if they are still around or the person they once were if they are now gone.
Probably all of us at one time or another.
Pictures, both flattering and unflattering, tell a story and I want my
story told.
I want to be remembered as a mom that loved living life.
That was passionate about the things she enjoyed no matter how silly they
seemed to others. Someone who knew how to be a mom and have fun in that role
(my most important role) as well as be remembered as someone who knew how to
take time to have fun as a woman who was more than just a mom. I want to be remembered as the fun mom that
not only enjoyed life for herself but enjoyed it for my children and hopefully
somehow through it all to do the same with their lives. And when you think about it, I bet you want
the same.
So now onto the advice, if you are fortunate enough this
weekend to spend some time with your own mother or grandmother, take some
pictures! Make sure you are in the pictures with them. Set the timer, as
someone else (even a random stranger) to take the picture, take a selfie with
them. Just take the DAMN picture! Even if you are spending the day without your
own mother (like me) and spending the day with your children, take a picture!
Pull some funny faces, make them laugh, document the way you spent your day
with them. Because someday they’ll appreciate that you did and someday you will
too, even if your hair is a mess and your double chin is shining through, promise.
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