Red Light, Green Light

Disclaimer: If this post sounds like a downer, I apologize in advance. It's not meant to be, mostly I am trying to be completely open and honest about what's going on with us and this baby. Really we are happy and excited about her joining us whenever she arrives. This has just been a rough week. Life isn't always as happy and simple and blogs sometimes portray since we tend to always write about only the good/fun stuff.


This has been a long, long week full of mixed emotions and tons of contractions. I decided yesterday that this baby girl is playing a game of Red Light, Green Light with us. It seems like every time things start to move quickly, she then throws out the red light and we slow back down. After our appointment on Monday, we were emotionally vexed. We were both disappointed and scared and I had myself a good cry. Knowing that no matter what ( going another week or 3) this baby is coming early. I spent some time feeling bad for myself that the odds are she won't be coming home with us and I will never have the experience of actually leaving the hospital with my child in tow. While I know she'll be fine at this point and the hospital will take great care of her. I've never even had a child be able to be in our room with us at the hospital, even for more than 3 minutes. While there is a chance still that things will slowly, slowly progress from here on out and I may get my wish, it's hard for us to imagine at this point.
Monday night-Wednesday night were filled with tons of contractions and taking meds every day to stop them. On Wednesday night they were terribly painful. I got them to go away long enough to get a few hours of sleep. On Thursday they started back up bright and early. Thankfully not as painful but consistent throughout most of the day. So I called the Dr office and luckily the on-call Dr there (my doc was out) was nice enough to slide me in quickly and check me real quick. He reassured me that at this point they weren't changing anything and warned me to keep staying hydrated and off my feet as much as possible. This lead to an array of mixed emotions, ranging from relief and happiness to almost a disappointment and a "Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)", attitude. At one point we were both feeling (if even for a couple hours) that we we ready to give up the nightly fight with the meds and just let her come.

My sister was up here for a baseball tournament and ended up taking the boys home with her on Thursday night so they could go to the reunion/camping with them and Papa this weekend. So Friday was a lot more slow paced for me and Mike had the day off. We did some low-key errands and went out to a couple meals together and really took it easy. The result was more low key contractions as well. This renewed our spirits a little that if nothing else, we WILL beat our all time record and make it to tomorrow and we will continue the fight for a little while longer. So the pessimism is fading a little at least for a few days and we are feeling refreshed and happy. Time to celebrate meeting our original goal!

We are receiving tons of encouraging words from friends and family and we appreciate it, we really do. Something that people don't know about us is that every time in the past when I've even had 3 consistent contractions we have gone into full on labor. So this slowly progressing, effacing, dilating stuff is completely NEW to us. I've never once been sent home from Labor and Delivery once I went there. We are trying our best to stay upbeat and positive so keep them coming. They may not help at that exact moment (while we are feeling down) but they do help later on to keep us going.
We see the Dr. again bright and early Monday morning. We are thinking we should take him a cupcake to celebrate meeting our first goal of 34 weeks! But we are afraid that might weird him out as well. :) I'll try to post a quick update after of what the doc says and let you know how the rest of our kid-free weekend goes and how the boy's camping trip went. Until then I fully plan to keep baby girl baking at least a little longer.